Every relationship starts out with promise. There is excitement and happiness. The union is fresh and new. What could be better? But then time wears on and little problems start to creep up. Perhaps there are genuine issues, but more often than not the things that destroy a relationship can be prevented.
Many relationships start to fall apart as soon as the newness wears off. Maybe the partners thrive on the excitement factor and they don’t know what to do when that is gone. Other relationships function fairly well for the first years, but then problems seem to appear. But no matter when the discontent starts, they usually stem from the same sources. These problems that hurt marriages can be prevented, but you need to be aware of them.
You don’t talk anymore. Maybe you communicate about everyday things like what is for dinner or what movie to go see. But what about deeper communication? Do you know your partners hopes and dreams? Are you connected to them in such a way that you know when they are having a bad day or a good one? Communication whether it is through words or actions is vital for a healthy relationship. Everyone needs someone they can confide in, and if your spouse feels they can’t talk to you they may turn to someone else. Which can lead to our next relationship killer.
Infidelity. No matter how secure you are in your relationship, when your partner has been unfaithful it shakes the very foundation. Infidelity doesn’t always mean having a sexual relationship with someone other than you spouse. It can also mean having an intimate relationship of any kind with a member of the opposite sex. Deep meaningful conversations, spending a lot of time together, etc., are all things than can be considered unfaithfulness. You need to realize that this type of activity can lead to a sexual relationship. In addition, the confidences you are giving to the other person are things you should be sharing with your spouse. By keeping the lines of communication open in your marriage will help to prevent one spouse or the other from feeling like they need to confide in someone else. A happy and successful relationship should be built on a strong foundation of full fidelity and communication.
Lack of emotional attachment. This one fits right in with communication and fidelity. You need to feel an emotional attachment to your partner if you are going to have a successful relationship. If you have full communication and are completely faithful, this should be fairly easy. However, at times in a relationship you may feel that you are missing that attachment. Distractions from work, family, and other responsibilities can leave you feeling detached from your partner. You may begin to feel like you don’t really know your spouse anymore, they have become a stranger in your home. When you sense the attachment is lacking, it is time for action! Spend some quality time with each other without distractions like television or children. Find a sitter and go out to dinner or just for a nice drive. Talk with one another and reconnect. You should make time for each other a priority so you can stay connected.
Many relationships fall apart because of problems that can be avoided by learning to communicate effectively, staying completely faithful, and keeping connected with your partner. Relationships take work, but by making it a priority yours doesn’t have to be a victim of relationship killers.
Cecil has been happily married for 25 years! He and his wife stay warm with an energy efficient portable furnace. In fact, he finds ways to use an infrared heating system all through the house!